Entrepreneur or manager or technical specialist….research has shown time and time again that those with higher levels of self-awareness are more successful in their chosen field. Conversely a lack of self-awareness over extended periods of time can result career derailment, sickness, burnout and stress.
If you’ve ever noticed a strong and unexpected emotional reaction in someone (eg exploding with anger) then you’re probably looking at someone who lacks self-awareness. Ignoring emotions or not acknowledging that you bring your emotions to work creates an enormous blind spot that will, sooner or later, hinder your success.
“I knew 60 hour weeks were bad for me and that it wasn’t sustainable… I could see that my health was suffering… but I couldn’t help myself until it was too late. I’ve learnt the hard way that resilient people are aware of their emotions and take time to analyse them”
So what is this fluffy self-awareness stuff?
Self-awareness is about recognising our own behaviour, emotions, attitudes and beliefs and appreciating how they are linked. It’s about understanding how beliefs affect our emotions which in turn affect our behaviour. It’s by acknowledging and thinking about emotions/feelings that we can analyse the beliefs that underpin them.
Our emotions are like the weather… they may be tranquil or they may be violent, but they are always there.
It’s impossible to leave your emotions at home and if you try to ignore them they’ll seep through and affect your behaviour. By becoming more self-are of emotions we are in a better position to control them.
How to develop self-awareness?
Here’s how to develop the habit of noticing your feelings and emotions and thinking about them
1) How are you feeling right now? May be you’re feeling relaxed, thoughtful, frustrated, irritated? Every emotion is valid… acknowledge the emotion you are feeling right now.
If this task is freaking you out or makes you want to turn away then you are likely to benefit from it hugely!
2) What makes you happy? What makes you sad? What makes you angry? What makes you ashamed? Take a few moments to tap into each of these emotions. It may be difficult but stick with it. Think of examples of each emotion and think about the beliefs and attitudes that underpin each emotion. Think about the behaviours that each emotion brings about in you. Think about how others respond to your behaviours.
“I noticed I was sarcastic today… frustrated when I saw Sandra not pulling her weight. I believe that when we’re busy everyone should put in more effort. Sandra didn’t respond very positively… the sarcasm didn’t help me. Next time I’ll try something different when I feel the frustration”
“I was so nervous before the presentation and practised it so many times… and when it went well I was so happy and relieved. I’ve learnt to make sure that I have time to practice before important presentations”
3) Make time each day… may be whilst commuting into work or during lunch break… to think about your emotions and how they contribute to success and how they may be blocking success. Do more of what works and think about how you can change the behaviours that aren’t working for you.
4) Think about how your emotions from yesterday are affecting your behaviour today. What’s working for you and what could you do differently?
5) Keeping a private journal is helpful for many people…record your feelings, identify emotional reactions and the beliefs that underpin each emotion.
Self-awareness is a key skill in developing emotional intelligence. Higher levels of emotional intelligence has been shown to be linked to job performance, productivity and career success.
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